KliffsEdge– What is the heck does it mean? Well if I knew that I would be a genius. I know no religion. I know no preacher. I have visited many, but have found few. I began to realize the only place to find the answer was in my own head and heart. So if you don’t believe in that you had better stop reading this now. I always wanted to write a book. It seemed easy enough. Lord knows I have plenty of stories to tell. Oh, if it was only that easy. The problem comes in when you start to remember. Because you see the memory, can be a very strange thing. It’s sometimes your friend, it’s sometimes your enemy. It haunts you, yet it revives you. It stays with you, yet you want it to leave. Oh damn the oxymoron. So I am not there yet. I cannot write the past that so haunts my soul. If I give in, what will it do to my mind. So I turn to the only thing that makes any sense. Jesus! Yes I said it. I know he is there, right beside me. I know in my heart he is real. I feel a presence that never leaves me when everyone else does. I have this feeling he is not allowed to talk to me in the earthly sense, or guide me in the worldly sense, but I know he is there. When I close the world out and listen to my mind and my heart I feel a warfare. One is pulling one way and one is gently trying to tell me something I don’t want to hear. If I don’t forgive myself, how can I forgive anyone else. I judge myself, so I must judge others. I hurt myself so I must hurt others. I smoke and I drink, and I feel bad. I cannot except the person I was or is now. Everything I have worked for on this earth is slowly going away. All the people I have needed or need now are gone. All the dreams and wishes are somehow just something that has come to mean nothing. But yet, I still feel this presence. It never leaves me. It talks to me. My ego tries to tell me I am crazy and just hearing voices. My heart tells me to believe in a holy spirit that has and will always guide me. I search for a day that I have no doubt. But so far I still live on the KliffsEdge of my life. But what if……. what I feel in my heart is real. Is the power really in the quiet of me? Could it be that easy?
This is my first post in a long time. Why, you may ask. Well, I cannot get one person at Go Daddy to help me. Granted I am not an IT person. But if you pay for a service, you should receive some help. Why to these companies hire people that are not trained, very unfriendly, and totally disinterested in what you are trying to explain to them, is beyond me. Granted, Word press is no better. They have forums for you to look through that will take you years to understand, but have no live answers for those of us who do not have a degree in IT. I know many of you may be saying, oh you just don’t have the training needed to run a website. Well, you may be right. But, is it too much to ask for a little help every now and then. I know I am not as young as I used to be, but I do consider myself a person who knows how to use a computer. I understood quite a lot when I first put up my website over a year ago. But the more time that passes makes me realize, that most companies customer service still sucks, just as it did years ago. As I write this I feel many will just say it’s an old lady going off into a venting session and your exactly right. But then again, that’s what websites are for. Ha Ha.